Beyond Choice: Living in the Mystery of Consciousness
Over the past few weeks, we’ve been exploring how our lives are shaped by the stories we tell ourselves, the inner critic that reinforces those stories, the emotional triggers that invite us to heal and the profound realization that our deepest choice is not what happens to us but who are become in response. At first glance, that might seem like the end of the journey but in reality, it is only the beginning. Once we loosen the attachment we have to the stories, something remarkable happens. We open the door to empowerment and away from victimization of our stories.
From this point, a deeper question arises as we begin to ask ourselves “who is the one observing all of this? If I can witness my thoughts, then I cannot simply be my thoughts. If I can observe my emotions, than I cannot be my emotions either. If I can recognize the stories I’ve believed about myself, then perhaps I am something much larger than the stories themselves.
THIS IS WHERE CONSCIOUNSESS BEGINS
For many years, I believed that personal growth was about learning to make better choices and choose better habits. Maybe choosing better relationships or more empowering thoughts and while all of that matters, I have come to realize there is another layer of awareness that changes everything. It is about the difference between trying to control life and learning to participate in it.
Many personal development teachers encourage us to decide exactly what we want, focus on it relentlessly, and manifest it into reality. There is tremendous wisdom in setting intention and taking inspired action. However, there is another perspective that can be found in many of the world’s great contemplative traditions that asks a different question all together. What if life is unfolding through an intelligence far greater than the personal mind can comprehend?
What if our goal is not to control every outcome but to become increasingly more conscious in the unfolding and actual participate with our own awareness? Imagine deciding to drive across town for your favorite falafel. Your intention is clear and your destination is certain. Then, halfway there something unexpected happens and you need to stop. You pull into a small taco cafe simply to use the restroom and while you’re there, you notice they are having a special and the food smells so wonderful, you decide to stay. As you enjoy your lunch, the person sitting next to you strikes up a conversation which ends up being the beginning of a new friendship. And, that friendship becomes a new business relationship or partnership. Months later, you realize that one unexpected stop changed the direction of your life. Looking back, it feels as though your chose the taco cafe. But, did you? Maybe life was gently guiding you toward and encounter your conscious mind could never have planned while your ego mind believed it was making a decision about lunch. Life may have been arranging something way bigger.
Our individual mind sees only a few steps ahead. Consciousness sees the entire landscape. Don’t get me wrong, this does not mean we all stop making plans and live simply in the day dream. I do however invite you to the idea that if we begin to hold our plans more lightly as we move toward what feels true we also remaining open to the possibility that life knows something that we do not.
One of my favorite poets, the great Persian mystic Hafiz, captured this beautifully when he wrote that the saint has discovered life to be “a sublime chess game with God” and is continually “tripping over joy” because the Beloved keeps making such astonishing moves that all the saint can do is laugh and surrender. For years, I misunderstood surrender as I thought it meant giving up. Now I see it differently as surrender is not giving up on life but rather giving up the illusion that we can control the unfolding of life. There is an enormous difference. I find that the ego wants certainty while consciousness is about developing trust. The ego wants to know the exact path while consciousness asks “who am I becoming regardless of the path that unfolds”? This likely is the deepest choice we ever make as we remain open and present choosing to trust the greater unfoldment. This, to me, is about falling so completely in love with the mystery of existence that our need to control every chapter gradually dissolves into wonder.
And maybe, just maybe that is where true freedom begins.
